I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Randomize
