I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
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Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
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There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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