We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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