jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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