making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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