I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
found the other keg... it's in the tree
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
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