did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
he thought i was a dude.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
