so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
