Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
A bitchslap is in order.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
