She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
