Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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