Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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