ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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