I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
