What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
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