That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
