I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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