you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
