Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
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