I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
