i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
