out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
