No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Randomize
