I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
