none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
