Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
