I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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