I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
