I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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