she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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