in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
