Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
