Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
