Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize