Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
