That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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