Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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