i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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