Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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