ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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