i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
