Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
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