wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
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