i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Randomize
