shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Randomize
