If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
