you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i would punch a child for taco bell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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