Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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