i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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