she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize
