she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Randomize
