I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
The uberlube is also flammable
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Randomize
