that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
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