..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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