My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
