I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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