So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
