Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Randomize
