i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
So vagazzling was a success
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
