sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
