my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
